As an eligible bachelor this post will likely only bring me grief, but the truth must be told!

Did you know that the gift of a diamond ring upon engagement to get married is a tradition that has only gained footing in the last century?

Who instilled this tradition on (most prominently) the American psyche?

De Beers.

No, I’m not talking about some hip brewing company, De Beers is the company formed in the late 1800’s after the discovery of enormous reserves of diamonds were found in mines near the Orange River in South Africa.

To maintain the perception of diamonds as a precious gem (whereas if the immense supplies of diamonds had been released they may be, at best, semi-precious), De Beers formed what became one of the most prolific monopolies in history.

Assuming control of various competing mines and supply channels, they quickly cornered the market for diamonds.

But the greatest genius of De Beers is how they marketed diamonds, particularly the diamond engagement ring.

They pushed the “A diamond is forever” slogan into the American subconscious.

They effectively created the “tradition” of giving a diamond ring to commemorate a wedding engagement.

They paraded Hollywood starlets with the biggest and best diamond jewelry, and effectively used a huge advertising budget to emblaze the pre-eminence of diamonds as the gem of love and eternity (even though they can be broken, burned, blemished, etc.).

They simultaneously pushed up the value of diamonds artificially through limiting supply and increasing demand, all while somehow making selling a diamond an entirely losing proposition.

Think about it… have you ever attempted to sell a diamond?  If you have, you know that you will never get what you paid for it, you are lucky to get half.  Who wants an used diamond?

Are you starting to see?

For more on the above, I highly recommend the following article that was published by “The Atlantic” in Feb of 1982, the article not only holds up well 35 years on, it is still a revelation to those who read it today:

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1982/02/have-you-ever-tried-to-sell-a-diamond/304575/

That’s just the tip of the iceberg though.

What is the danger in buying a diamond ring as a symbol of love and getting engaged to be married?  Those things seem nice and exciting!  Perhaps this is why De Beers has had such phenomenal success.

Depending on sources, the average engagement ring costs about $6,000:

https://www.bustle.com/articles/144926-this-is-the-average-cost-of-an-engagement-ring

Think about that for a minute.  $6,000.00 for a shiny piece of hardened carbon on less than a quarter ounce of precious metal?  Something that can be easily lost, broken, stolen, or heaven forbid, the engagement/marriage doesn’t work out…

What is the opportunity cost of this expensive purchase?

Many (especially young couples) don’t have $6,000 on tap, so most of these rings get financed.  The true cost of the ring with interest ends up being much more.

What if couples didn’t have to burden their finances at the beginning of marriage when they most likely are scrimping just to get by?  What if this money was used to start a small side-business that the couple ran together?  What if it was used to pay off other debts?

Perhaps an even greater detriment of this modern “tradition”, is that many men very likely PUT OFF marriage simply because they can’t save up enough to purchase the ring they may feel their prospective bride wants or that he perceives she deserves.

Some compare the wedding ring to a version of the modern dowry.  But instead of the in-laws getting two acres of fertile pasture, three cows, and a beautiful chicken coop, a portion of the modern dowry just goes to some middle-man jeweler you don’t know and most goes back to De Beers; so much for keeping it in the family…

So what is the solution?

The solution is for individuals to determine a new path.  Couples need to find some new tradition that may be entirely unique to themselves to replace or dismiss going into debt for something an advertising agency made you unnecessarily desire.

If you want a ring, still get one.  But maybe with a different gem?  Maybe a birthstone, or your fiancé’s favorite non-diamond gem.  Maybe one with both of your birthstones together (granted birthstones are their own arbitrary creation, but that’s another story).

Or heaven forbid… a cubic zirconia!  Wear it with pride, say “I couldn’t burden my fiancé with having him buy me a diamond, I insisted it be a cubic zirconia (which arguably are prettier)!”.

And no, you’re not going to miss the fact that you can’t cut glass with it, nobody does that in real life…

If you’re hoping to have the biggest-prettiest diamond that you can make your friends jealous with, then I’m sure this post isn’t for you; I will tell you though, that someone else has a bigger and prettier ring than you.

Instead, be unique.

Find a different way.  A more MEANINGFUL and PRACTICAL way.

Not one devised by a brilliant ad agency rep, intended to suck you dry when you’re poor.